


Me & You (if I woke up next to you)

by Ernzo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben has a girlfriend for a part of this who is not Rey, F/M, Growing Up Together, I just want to overtag, It Will Be Okay, Modern AU, Please Don't Hate Me, So soft you'll get a toothache, beware: extreme snuggling, its soft i promise, reylo is endgame, slight slight domestic violence?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 23:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17776241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ernzo/pseuds/Ernzo
Summary: Prompt: Reylo cuddles and hugs (but not for warmth)! Could be AU or canonverse; fluffy as a compilation of cat videos or a bit angsty - or both, that totally rocks my boat.For the Reylo Valentine's 2019! Thank you to @sapphiresunset for looking this over for me <3





	Me & You (if I woke up next to you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LilibethSonar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilibethSonar/gifts).



> I hope that this fills what you were looking for, @LilibethSonar! Some of the scenes are a bit longer than a snippet because... I am the way I am. But, it's so soft and fluffy and I hope that everyone enjoys it and has a lovely Valentine's no matter where you are or who you're with!

When Rey gets adopted by Maz, she starts a new school, entering the third grade. She sits alone, often away from the other kids who pick on her for being the “new girl” or because they know that she is adopted. 

She keeps to herself but notices a boy, a few years older than her, who is always by himself, too. 

It’s October and the leaves have changed, and she sees him by himself during recess. 

“Why are you always alone?” Rey asks one day, holding her lunchbox while he sits on the swings with his book.

He looks up and her, squinting, and Rey sees how big his ears are, peeking out from behind his hair. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” he replies, looking back at his book. 

“I’m new,” she tells him as if he didn’t already know. She moves to join him, putting her lunchbox down and sitting on the swing next to him. 

“I know you’re new.”

She nods. “I guess that means the kids make fun of me. For- for being adopted.”

He looks up at her, his brow creasing. “You’re adopted?”

Rey frowns. “Yes.”

But he only nods. “That’s cool. I have an older brother, he’s adopted too. My parents didn’t think they could have kids, so they adopted Finn. And then,” he shrugs. “I came along.”

Rey smiles. “I wish I had a brother.”

He rolls his eyes. “They’re annoying.”

“My name is Rey,” she says, sticking out her hand. “Will you be my friend?”

He looks at her hand and back at her face, and then lets go of his book to reach his hand out. He nods. “Okay. My name is Ben.”

Rey shakes his hand once, beaming at him. “How old is your brother?” she asks as Ben drops her hand immediately. He clears his throat. “He’s fifteen.”

Rey’s eyes go wide. “Wow! He’s in high school?”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Yeah. And he’s annoying about it.”

Rey continues her line of questioning. “You aren’t in my grade. How old are you?”

He moves to put his book into his bag. “I’m ten. I’ll be eleven in November.” 

Rey nods. “I’m eight. I’ll be nine in May.”

Ben looks at her for a moment, but he turns his head at the sound of laughter. 

A red-haired boy, who Rey hates with a passion, comes walking up to them, a sneer on his face. 

“Look what we have here! The adopted girl and the loser are friends! Finally got yourself a girlfriend, Solo? I guess that’s the best you can do, right?”

Rey sees Ben shrink, his eyes downcast. 

“Why don’t you shut up, Hux,” Rey snaps at the red-haired boy, standing up. “Go bother someone else.”

Hux’s sneer grows. “Such bad words. Not surprising from an orphan. Who raised you? Wolves?” 

Rey sees red, literally, and lunges forward, her fist connecting with Hux’s nose.

He shrieks, his hands flying to his face as his eyes go wide. “I’m telling!” He howls as he turns and runs back towards the school.

Rey turns back to Ben, her chest heaving with rage, to find him still sitting on the swing, his mouth hanging open, and his eyes wide. 

“Are you… okay?” he asks, lamely, as he glances toward the school. 

“I’m fine,” Rey snaps, “I hate that creep, he deserves it.” 

Ben stands and walks towards her. “No one… no one has ever stood up for me before,” he tells her softly, before coming to a stop in front of her. “No one.”

Rey feels weird at his statement. “I’m gonna get in trouble for it, so don’t even worry about it,” she deflects, turning to look back towards the school. “I was standing up for myself too.”

Mrs. Holdo appears, looking very stern as she makes her way to the swings.

“Rey,” she says, her voice cold. “Armitage Hux says that you punched him.”

Rey squares up, straightening her body to tell Mrs. Holdo what really happened and that Hux is a snivelly little jerk…

“Rey didn’t hit him,” comes Ben’s voice from behind her. “I did. He was calling her names, and I hit him. Rey didn’t do anything.” 

Rey’s eyes go wide and so do Mrs. Holdo’s. “Ben!” she scolds. “I’m shocked at this behavior! We are going to the office to call your mother…”

She takes Ben by the arm and begins to lead him away before Rey can react, calling after them. “Ben, don’t! He’s lying! I did it! I punched him!”

But they are already too far gone to hear her.

At the end of the day, Rey waits by the door as each grade is dismissed to the buses. She finally sees him, after nearly everyone is gone, tall and lanky, lumbering towards the door with his heavy backpack. 

“Ben!” Rey cries when she sees him and he glances up at her, his cheeks going pink immediately. 

He slows to a stop in front of her, not meeting her eye. 

“Did you get in trouble? Why did you tell her it was you? That was so dumb! There’s no need for you to  _ lie _ …” she’s rambling, but slows to a stop when she sees him just shrug his shoulders. 

“You stood up for me, I didn’t want you to get into trouble.”

“What happened?”

Ben shrugs again. “My mom knows Mrs. Holdo. I just have to stay inside for recess for the rest of the week.”

Rey’s shoulders slump. “The whole week?” she asks, her voice small. “Who will I eat lunch with?”

“Oh,” Ben says, his voice just as small. “Well, maybe you can stay inside with me.”

Rey looks up him, her eyes hopeful. “Yeah?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

Rey throws her arms around his neck, and he makes a startled noise before Rey feels his arms come around her, his hand patting her shoulder awkwardly. 

“Thank you for being my friend,” Rey whispers and Ben pulls away from her, his face even redder than before. 

“Uh, you’re welcome.” 

He looks over Rey and she turns to see Maz talking to another woman, both of them watching Ben and Rey. 

“That’s my mom,” they say at the same time, before Rey giggles. 

“See you tomorrow?” Rey asks as they start to walk towards their moms. 

Ben nods. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”

 

***

 

Rey is hiding. 

She’s been pretending to take a shower for the last hour, but she knows that can only conceal her for so long. 

Her face is still swollen, her nose still runny despite the hot water of the shower drowning out her tears. 

She’s curled up on the floor, her face resting against the lip of the tub, a fluffy blue towel wrapped around her as tears continue to flow. 

Ben is leaving today. 

For college. 

“Rey,” comes Maz’s cool, even voice through the door. “Child, come out from there. Ben Solo is down in my kitchen eating me out of house and home.”

Rey nods to herself, trying to find her resolve. “Okay,” she says, her voice soft but she knows Maz hears her. 

She takes another twenty minutes to finally come downstairs, having splashed cold water on her face and dressing in his lacrosse hoodie even though it’s August.

Maz points to the back door when Rey comes downstairs, and she joins him on the back deck, the hood of her sweatshirt pulled up and a silent prayer that maybe he won’t even look at her when she walks out there. 

But he does, and his reaction is immediate. 

“Are you _ crying _ ?” he asks, his voice incredulous. 

“Shut the fuck up,” she mutters as she sits down at the picnic table, keeping her eyes focused down instead of on his face. 

She hears him sigh. He sits down next to her— too close— and she feels her skin warm up and her face flush as he moves so close that she almost falls off the picnic bench. 

“I’ll be home all the time,” he tells her, his voice soft. She nods but still keeps her eyes trained on the chipped paint of the table. He cranes his neck around so he can see her face, his neck at an awkward angle, but he smiles when she finally makes eye contact with him. She huffs and turns her back on him. 

“ _ Rey _ ,” he says her name in that sing-song way of his when he knows that she’s upset, scooting even closer to her and wrapping his arms around her and tugging her back against his chest. “Rey, don’t cry.” 

She just shakes her head but lets him pull her closer, and she feels him rest his chin against her shoulder.

“You’ll come to Naboo State in two years. With me.”

Rey lifts her arm to wipe her nose on her sleeve, nodding at his words. “I know.” 

He tightens his arms around her again, pulling her more snugly to his chest. “Why are you so upset? I’m not really going anywhere. I’ll text you and talk to you all the time.” 

Rey feels her chest tighten. “But, you’re going away. To college. With new friends and you’ll be so busy and there will be girls who are gonna wanna date you and what if you….” she trails off with a sniffle. “Forget about me. Or realize how lame it is to have a sixteen-year-old best friend, or…”

He squeezes her too hard this time. “No. None of those things are gonna happen. I won’t forget about you, Rey. I could never.”

Rey finally turns in his arms, settling herself in his lap, like she always does. “Promise?”

His arms come around her waist as hers move to rest on his shoulders. He nods solemnly at her. “I promise.”

She hugs him, not really feeling relieved, tears threatening to flow down her cheeks again. She squeezes him, hard, before she pulls back. 

“What about the girls? What if you talk about me too much and they all hate you…”

Ben rolls his eyes. “I doubt there are going to be any girls.”

Rey narrows her eyes. Ben is an idiot who doesn’t know how all the girls in her grade giggle about him and always gossip to Rey about how cute he is and how she’s so lucky that he drives her to school every day, and _ oh my god, did you see Ben Solo after lacrosse practice today _ ?

“You’re dumb,” she tells him but he rolls his eyes again and tugs her closer. 

“I’m gonna miss you too,” he tells her softly. “The same goes for you. Don’t forget about me when you’re off living the rest of your high school life.”

Rey shakes her head. “I would never.”

He smiles at her. “Just…don't go to the prom with Poe Dameron.”

Rey turns scarlet and starts giggling, smacking him on the arm before hiding her face in his chest. 

“Leave me alone!”

 

***

 

“I am going to fail everything,” Rey wails, dropping her head into a textbook with a thud. “Nothing is staying in my head. How does a semester’s worth of information just vanish from my head?”

“You’ll be fine,” Ben’s voice soothes as he places a huge cup of coffee on the table next to her textbook. “Finals suck, but everyone usually makes them worse for themselves.”

Rey sits back up, her hair askew, to level a death glare at Ben. “Says you, who only has to take two. I have to take five!”

He sits across from her with a fond smile. “You have already taken three and passed with flying colors. Just a couple more days and it will be you and me, driving home, away from this godforsaken place.”

Rey groans again and flips through her biology textbook again. “My brain hurts.” 

Despite the fact that he went and bought her coffee, he stands and motions toward his bed. “Your bio final isn't until tomorrow afternoon. Why don't you just lie down for a while and rest? You’re burnt out. No matter how much you stare at that textbook, nothing is going to absorb unless you rest.” 

Rey opens her mouth to protest, but he grabs her hand and hefts her up out of her chair. “Shh, c’mon. Just a few hours. I promise it will do you some good.”

Rey gives in with a grumble, curling up on his bed and closing her eyes.

She doesn’t remember falling asleep, but she’s awoken with a start to the sound of screaming. Angry screaming. 

“What the  _ fuck _ is going on here?”

Rey opens her eyes, disoriented by how bright the room is, and why is someone yelling?

She looks to the sound of the noise and her eyes widen in shock and terror. 

Ben’s girlfriend, Bazine, is standing over the bed with murder in her eyes. And Ben, Ben is in bed with Rey, his arm around her waist, his leg thrown over her hip, and she feels his nose pressed into her neck. 

And Bazine  _ hates _ Rey. 

“Uh,” comes Ben’s sleepy, incoherent voice as Rey feels him begin to extract himself from where he has tangled himself around Rey in their sleep. 

“I knew it,” Bazine seethes, and Rey winces and shrinks away from the volume of her voice. “I  _ knew _ that you were fucking around with her. You’re a liar.” 

Ben has finally come to his senses and launches from the bed, accidentally stomping on her foot as he jumps up, causing Rey to yelp. 

“No! Bazine, no!” Rey watches as Ben reaches for her but Bazine slaps his hands away before she slaps him across the face.

Ben stops dead in his tracks, his face going blank.

“You have been so far up her ass since she got here, I always suspected. But you told me you were just friends! She was your friend from home! Don’t worry, Bazine! And now look. I found you in bed with her, curled around her like a snake.”

“We fell asleep,” Ben says, his voice void of emotion. Rey sits up, scared now, not wanting them to remember that she’s there in the room, but wanting to watch. 

“Ha!” Bazine snorts derisively. “You ‘fell asleep?’ Like I’ve never heard that one before.”

Ben runs a hand through his hair with a sigh. “We honest to God fell asleep…”

“Whatever, Ben. I can’t believe I wasted my time…”

Rey is up in a flash, the long-held urge to defend Ben rearing its ugly head. She feels nine years old again. 

“Get out.”

Bazine stops speaking abruptly and turns on Rey, shock coloring her beautiful features. “What did you say to me?”

Rey advances on her. “I said get  _ out _ . If you are going to stand here,  _ hit _ him, tell him that he’s a waste of time, then get out.”

“Rey,” she hears a note of warning in Ben’s tone. 

Bazine scoffs. “Why don’t you stay out of this?”

“No. He’s my best friend and I’m not going to let you talk to him like that. Because we did fall asleep, and nothing happened, you’re just an insecure idiot…”

“Rey,” Ben says again, this time more firmly, stepping in front of her. “Rey, stop.” 

“No, I’m not going to let her talk about you like you’re some kind of…”

He puts his hands on her shoulders and squeezes. “Rey. That’s enough.” 

She stops, looking at him, _really_ looking at him. He looks tired, and his cheek is bright red where Bazine slapped him. The way he’s looking at her, she can’t understand it.  

“Go get ready for your final, I’ll talk to you after.”

She doesn’t move. “But...”

He shakes his head at her. “Just go. Good luck.”

She stares at him, so utterly confused. “Okay.”

There’s silence as she gathers her books, still strewn across the table where she left them last night. With one last glance at Ben and Bazine, she leaves his dorm. 

Her bio final is a nightmare. She can barely concentrate, unable to remember anything, mostly guessing and trying to blow through it as quickly as possible. Her grade the whole semester has been perfect, so a bad final grade won’t sink her and she can’t seem to find it in herself to care.

When she turns in her test and retrieves her phone from the professor’s desk, she finds several texts from Ben. 

_ Hope your final went good, I know you nailed it.  _

_ Come meet me at my apartment when you finish. _

_ I got sushi.  _

Rey stops at her dorm to drop her books and change before rushing to Ben’s. She’s nervous for some reason, nervous about what happened after she left, nervous about how many times her name had been brought up. 

Bazine hated Rey from the moment she showed up at freshman orientation. They had been dating for a little while already, and Rey got tired of hearing about her when Ben was home for the summer. But, the moment they met, Bazine hated her. 

She never liked Rey to hang out with them, often just sitting in silence when the three of them were together, or even with a group of friends. If Rey was there, Bazine was in a bad mood. Ben told her it was because Bazine was jealous of Rey, jealous of how long she had known him. But, the longer Rey knew her, the more she realized that Bazine thought something was going on with him. She tried to go out of her way to reassure Bazine that she and Ben were just friends, bringing her own guy friends along to parties, or even flat out telling her that there was nothing going on with them, but Bazine never cared.

Rey would be lying though, if she didn’t admit to maybe, sort of, having a small crush on Ben. It had happened slowly, without her permission, in the time that they had been at college together. Being here with him, in a new place, it changed how she saw him. He was still her best friend and that would always be the most important thing, but she kind of hated Bazine, too. Hated the way Ben would snuggle up to her when it was cold out. How Bazine would giggle when Ben would whisper in her ear to make her stop pouting. Rey missed it when it was just her and him, and she realized that maybe she had feelings for him outside of just being friends.

She buried those feelings, deep, deep down and tried to ignore them entirely. But now, after this morning, she feels them clawing to the surface again, afraid to even hope.

She lets herself into Ben’s apartment and finds him on the sofa with a textbook in his lap. The sushi he promised is piled up on the coffee table and Rey’s mouth waters at the sight of it.

“Hey,” she greets, sitting down next to him on the couch and reaching for the nearest container. 

“Hey, how was your final?”

Rey sighs as she pops a piece of sushi into her mouth. “Awful. I’m just hoping that my grades for the semester will buffer how bad I did.”

Ben nods and closes his textbook, moving to set it on the end table. 

“I’m really sorry about this morning.” 

Rey swallows another piece of sushi and nods. “What happened?”

Ben reaches for his sushi and sighs. “We talked a lot… more calmly after you left. We broke up.”

“Of course you did, she fucking  _ hit _ you, Ben.”

He ignores her. “And she helped me realize some things and we, uh, we ended it on fairly good terms despite, um, what happened.” 

Rey nods absently. “Realized what?”

He chokes a little on his food and coughs. “Oh. Just stuff. Stuff about myself, you know.”

Rey turns and looks at him strangely. He looks uncomfortable and he won’t meet her eyes, shoveling sushi into his mouth. 

“Okay, weirdo.”

He looks at her and rolls his eyes. 

“I can’t say I’m not relieved, no offense,” Rey says, piling ginger flakes on a piece before popping it in her mouth and chewing for a moment. “She fucking hates me and it made me uncomfortable.”  

Ben opens his mouth to protest. “She didn’t  _ hate _ you,” but he trails off, looking chagrined as she shoots him an incredulous look. “Okay! Okay, maybe a little. But, it doesn’t matter now, all right?”

Rey chews slowly and nods. Ben throws his arm over her shoulder and pulls her tightly to his side. He gives her a squeeze and she feels his lips press against the side of her head. “You and me, right?”

She nods again, feeling warm. “Yeah.”

 

***

 

There’s nothing like Christmas at the Solo’s. Rey and Maz had been celebrating with them since around the time Ben and Rey had become friends in middle school. Han had known Maz from  _ years _ before and their ability to reconnect and have the kids be friends suited everyone involved. 

When Rey and Maz arrive on Christmas Eve, Rey feels like everyone is looking at her… weirdly. 

Leia hugs her tightly, lingering longer than normal and looking at her with a big smile. Han smirks at her as he pats on her on the shoulder and Rey feels like she’s missed something. 

When she gets a moment alone with Ben in the kitchen, sneaking cookies before bringing dinner out to the dining room, she asks him if he noticed anything. 

He hums around a sugar cookie, blowing crumbs all over the place, and doesn’t look at her as he picks up the tray of dinner rolls. “I think you’re imagining things.”

Rey grabs the bowl of mashed potatoes and stuffing and follows behind him, hissing. “I’m not. Your mother seemed like she was going to cry when she looked at me!”

He turns to push the swinging door open with his back and shrugs his shoulders, offering no answer. Rey rolls her eyes and follows behind him. 

After dinner, they have a tradition of playing Monopoly. Tonight, it’s Ben and Rey against Leia and Han, Maz waving her hand at them when Rey protests. “You beasts need a referee to keep you honest.”

It’s tense, down to the wire until Han rolls a seven and lands on Ben and Rey’s Boardwalk, loaded to the max with hotels. Ben launches off of the sofa, crowing in delight as Han curses loudly. This is the first year that Han has ever lost. 

Rey stands too, jumping up, her face hurting from smiling as she laughs and Ben wraps his arms around her waist, hauling her into the air and spinning as she squeals in delight, clutching her arms around his neck. 

“We did it! We finally beat you, old man!” Ben bellows as he spins Rey around once more despite her protests and sets her down on the ground. She’s winded and flushed, her hair sticking up in every direction. 

When Rey looks down at Leia, Han, and Maz, her stomach drops. Han is smirking, inclining his head in defeat as he looks at Rey with an eyebrow raised. Leia and Maz are smiling a secret smile and Rey feels herself get warm, embarrassment flooding through her at her and Ben’s display and the way they are all looking at her now. 

Ben seems unaware, still gloating as he pulls out his phone to take a picture of the game board. 

Rey clears her throat and smooths down her hair, righting her sweater from where it’d ridden up from Ben’s arms. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” she says softly, not looking at anyone as she turns and flees the room. 

  
  


***

 

“First kiss?” 

Rey makes a face and giggles. “Poe Dameron.”

Ben groans and claps a hand over his face. “Really? That  _ idiot _ ? I told you not to go to prom with him.”

Rey shrugs. “He asked. He was nice to me! I figured you knew this.”

“Ugh, no.”

Rey laughs again. “How about you?”

They are on their backs on the floor of the family room, their heads close but their bodies splayed in opposite directions. It’s late, and  Maz had long since gone home with a smile, saying she’d be back tomorrow. Han and Leia had gone to bed. The fire is still crackling and it’s dark, the lights of the Christmas tree providing the only light in the room. 

And they are also a little drunk. 

Ben snuck a bottle of red wine— well, more than one—  from the wine cellar and they’ve been slowly working through the wine together. Rey hopes that no one will notice at dinner tomorrow when three bottles of wine are missing. 

And so, this line of questioning began with ' _When was the first time you got drunk?'_

Ben laughs at her question of his first kiss and turns his head to look at her. “Kaydel Connix. Eighth grade. We played spin the bottle at some party and I was forced to play. She was not pleased when it landed on me, let me tell you.”

Rey giggles. “Poor thing.” 

Ben brings the bottle to his lips carefully, trying not to spill it while he drinks laying down. 

“My turn!” Rey crows, rolling on to her side and propping herself up with her arm. “First time…” she raises her eyebrows suggestively. 

Ben looks over at her. “Sex?”

Rey nods and reaches for the bottle, taking a swig. 

“Honestly? Bazine.”

This surprises Rey. Ben is… hot. Her drunk mind is being brutally honest with her and she’s coming to admit how hot Ben really is. Deep down, she’s always thought so, and she knows other people have as well. So, she’s a little taken aback at the prospect of him waiting to be in a relationship, instead of enjoying himself once he got to college. 

“Really?”

He looks away, his eyes trained on the ceiling. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not… I wasn’t exactly  _ waiting _ , but then I started seeing Bazine and… yeah.”

Rey sets the bottle down between them. “Huh.”

There’s a moment of silence before he turns back to her. “What about you?” His voice is low, almost apprehensive. 

Rey feels her body grow hot, her cheeks flaming. “Oh. Uh. Well.” She rolls back onto her back and tries to will her heart to stop beating so quickly. 

It’s his turn to roll onto his side to look down at her. “Rey? Don’t tell me it was Poe fucking Dameron or I’ll lose my shit…”

Rey chews her lip and shakes her head, making herself a little dizzy. “I’m… uh. I haven’t.”

She chances a glance at Ben and he looks positively dumbstruck. And Rey can’t help but stare just a little, her traitorous feelings for him bubbling ever closer to the surface. His long hair in his eyes, his lips stained red from the wine. The glow of the Christmas lights in his eyes. 

“You… haven’t?” He shifts closer to her, his eyebrow creasing. “Ever?”

Rey wonders why she’s never told him this. Perhaps it was the fact that he had a girlfriend when she came to college. And he had been away from her for the better part of two years. Or maybe,  _ maybe _ she was waiting for it to be him without ever realizing. 

She shakes her head, looking away. 

She hears movement and the rustle of fabric. She turns her head to watch him awkwardly, drunkenly, reposition his body, smacking into her and squishing parts of her as he moved, placing his body on top of hers. 

“Rey,” he says seriously, as he settles in. Rey tries her best not to look at him directly, or enjoy the familiar weight of his body on top of hers. She can’t even count the number of times they have laid like this over the years, but it suddenly it feels different. “Why?”

Rey shrugs, still not looking at him. She reaches up to fuss with the drawstring of his hoodie. 

“Not even… Poe?”

Rey snorts and rolls her eyes. “Why are you so hung up on Poe?”

“You  _ dated _ him. For a while! I always just figured…”

Rey sighs. “I just didn’t want to. It didn’t feel right.”

She’s still not looking at him and she’s startled when she feels his lips on her forehead. 

“It’s okay. You should do whatever you feel is right for you.”

She looks up at him now, and  _ god _ the way he’s looking at her, she can’t understand it. 

“I just want it to be the right person, someone who will take care of me, someone who loves me…”

She’s cut off, abruptly, by Ben’s lips on hers. 

They are soft and so gentle against her, but she freezes, unsure if he’s kissing her on purpose or if this is some sort of accident. 

But he presses her down onto the rug, his body settling against hers completely and his lips begin to move, coaxing her to open up to him. To yield. 

She sighs and he presses the advantage, groaning and deepening the kiss. 

Kissing Ben is everything she imagined it would be, and at the same time, nothing she could ever have anticipated. His kisses are deep and thorough, his hands firm where they grab at her hip, at her thigh. He changes the rhythm and alternates the pressure and Rey can barely keep up, her head swimming as she clutches herself to him. 

He breaks away to drag kisses down her neck, burrowing his nose in her sweater to search for more skin to kiss. She moans when he bites her collarbone and he presses his hips against hers. 

“Wait,” she croaks, her brain catching up a little. “Ben, just wait.”

He pulls back and stares down at her, even more enticing than before with flushed cheeks and swollen lips. 

“What… what’s happening?”

He sighs and adjusts himself, lifting his weight off of her. 

“I’m, shit. I’m sorry. Did I read this wrong? I definitely read this wrong. Shit.”

He goes to move away from her completely but she clamps all of her limbs around him, panicked that it could all be falling apart. 

“No! You… didn’t. You didn't.”

He looks down at her, his eyes searching her face before he lowers himself down again. “I didn’t?”

Rey shakes her head, clinging tighter to him. “I’m just confused and  _ surprised _ and I don’t know what is going on.”

His lips find hers again and this time she responds more enthusiastically, grabbing his hair and letting her tongue slide with his. When he pulls back, she’s dazed and her head is swimming from his kisses and the wine. 

“Rey. I’m… ah fuck. I think I’m in love with you.” Rey’s stomach flips and rolls and her breath catches in her throat but he keeps on talking. 

“I didn’t even realize it until  _ Bazine _ . She hated you because I put you first. I didn’t even know I was doing it. And that morning when she found us, fuck, it was like my eyes just opened. When you left she told me that I was in love with you and I denied it so hard but I knew she was right. She told me to choose,” he’s looking at her like she hung the moon. “I chose you.”

Rey feels like crying. She’s trembling, her lungs feel like lead and she can’t draw a full breath. Her eyes are darting all over his face as he talks and the words he’s saying, they are floating through her brain, sinking in one by one. 

He loves her. 

“Will you say something? I didn’t know if you felt the same way and when you just told me you wanted someone who loved you to be your first, it just  _ felt  _ like you could mean me and,  _ fuck _ !”

She’s moving slowly, slow to react, slow to understand. But she does. She reaches for his face, her fingers dancing over the beauty marks on his face. 

“Is this real? Or am I dreaming?” she asks softly, as she looks at his face wistfully. “Will all of this still be true in the morning?”

He laughs and it’s a strangled sound, like he’s in physical pain. 

“Rey.”

“Mmm?” She’s still running her hands on his face, through his hair. 

“You’re killing me here.”

She just smiles. She’s in heaven. 

“You love me.”

His eyebrows crease and he nods slowly, warily. 

She slides her fingers into his hair and scratches his scalp, watching as his eyes fluttered shut. “I think I love you, too.”

His face breaks into a slow, relieved smile. “Yeah?”

“I didn’t know either. Well, I did. But I didn’t acknowledge it.”

He moves his face closer to hers. “How long?”

She shrugs, feeling embarrassment creeping in again. “Maybe August?”

“ _ August? _ ” He repeats, shocked. “You’ve been enduring being around me and Bazine this whole time…”

She shrugs again. “As I said, I was basically ignoring how I felt. It made things easier.”

His face softens. “Rey.”

She shakes her head, not wanting to think about that anymore. “We’re drunk. Promise me you won’t forget this happened tomorrow. I don’t think I could stand it if you didn’t remember this.”

He kisses her again, rough and insistent, driving his point home. She clings to him, frantic, scared to let him go for fear that she will wake up and none of it will have been real. 

He drags his lips to her neck and buries his face there, as they cling to each other. He rolls them to their sides, pulling her close and suddenly Rey feels exhausted. He drags his nose along her neck as she struggles to stay awake. 

“We can go to bed,” he whispers now but Rey shakes her head.

“No, I don’t want to move yet, just a little bit longer.”

They never make it to bed, falling asleep in front of the dying fire as the grandfather clock chimes, indicating that Christmas has arrived. 

 

***

 

Rey steps down from the stage, her smile blinding as she clutches her diploma in her hands. She can hear the loud cheering from the seats, Ben’s distinctive cat call noticeable over the rest of the voices. 

When she exits the stadium with the rest of her fellow graduates, she’s ambushed as Ben’s arms come around her, making her squeal.

“Ben, put me  _ down _ !” she scolds with a giggle, no real venom in her voice, but he squeezes her tighter and spins her around. 

“For god's sake, kid, put her down,” comes Han’s voice as he approaches with Leia and Maz. 

Ben finally drops her down to her feet, bending to press a kiss— a kiss that’s not very appropriate for the present company— to her mouth, lingering before pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Congratulations.”

Rey turns and beams at him, her cheeks pink, before she looks to the others. 

Maz rushes forward, her eyes glistening, and Rey has to bend nearly in half to hug her mother. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Maz whispers as Rey pulls back. “I’ve raised a lot of babies in my day, and you have been the best.”

Rey feels the tears brim over, rolling down her hot cheeks as she reaches down to hug Maz again, tighter. 

When she stands back up, she hugs Han and Leia, both of them murmuring their congratulations. 

They go to a restaurant nearby and share dinner with their parents before Ben hurries her off into his car with rushed goodbyes. 

“Where are you taking me?” Rey asks but he just shushes her softly, his hand finding her thigh as he drives. She sighs and sits back, watching the lights go by as they drive further and further away from the city. 

She’s fallen asleep by the time they arrive… wherever it is they’re going, startled awake by the sound of rough gravel under the tires. 

She looks around and sees a small, rustic cabin, warm and inviting, nestled into the trees. 

“Where are we?” She asks, her voice rough with sleep as she turns to look at him. “I don’t even have a bag, Ben.”

But when she looks at him, she’s taken aback. He looks afraid, like he wants to throw up. 

“What’s wrong? What is going on?”

He reaches for her hand, his mouth open as he just shakes his head, seeming to be at a complete loss for words. 

“Ben?”

He clears his throat and pinches his eyes shut before he looks at her.

“Fuck. I had this plan. It was going to be  _ so _ great and amazing and what you deserve and I just, I’m fucking  _ dying _ here…”

Rey goes still. “What are you talking about?”

He just shakes his head again and she feels something small and hard pressed into her hand. 

“Just take it, because I can’t do this the way I want, I’m too nervous to…”

But she’s stopped listening to him,  turning her attention instead to the object in her hand, a box— a jewelry box— and opens it. 

Her breath leaves in a whoosh, and she becomes aware again of Ben’s nonsensical babbling. 

“... and there’s like, flowers and  _ champagne _ in there— it’s my parents cabin— and I was gonna ask after we took a shower or something or when we went to bed—“

The ring sparkles even in the dim light around them. It’s big and Rey can hardly comprehend how he could afford this size ring with his entry-level position. But she takes it out of the box, tears streaming down her face. 

“Ben. Shut up.”

He does, abruptly, and waits for her to proceed. 

She looks at him, his face afraid. He’s eleven again before her, afraid of being bullied, afraid of her, scared of the things around him. 

She slips the ring on and it fits perfectly, and she hears Ben gasp as she does it. 

She’s still crying and she looks at him with a watery smile. “Did you think I would say no?”

He blows out an exasperated breath, relieved and embarrassed, shaking his head as he reaches for her now. 

“I don’t  _ know _ . I don’t know what I thought. I was just scared to death because I wanted it to be perfect because you are perfect and I love you and I’m ruining it by just—  _ fuck _ ! What is wrong with me? I just threw your engagement ring at you!”

Rey laughs and puts her hands to his face, cupping his cheeks and kissing him soundly on the mouth. He groans, his hands clutching at her shoulders, the position awkward in the car. 

She pulls away, her face beginning to hurt from smiling. “I love you. This is the most Ben Solo thing you have ever done.”

“No!” He moans as he pulls away from her, slamming his head back against the headrest. “God!”

She laughs and glances at the cabin. “Do you wanna go inside?

He sighs. “Okay.”

They exit the car and Ben pops the trunk, revealing two packed duffle bags. 

“Who packed this?” Rey asks as she looks down at her own familiar overnight bag. 

“Uh, I did. Maz let me in when you weren’t home.”

Rey smiles and realizes how much he really did plan this. She reaches for him, her arm going around his waist as her other hand threads its way into the hair at his temple. 

“I love you. This is perfect, no matter how you planned it. Me and you. That’s all that matters, right?”

His arms come around her and crush her to his chest as his lips move across hers. She pulls back after a moment and tucks some hair behind his ear. 

“Why don’t you take me inside and show me what else you had planned for me?

Quicker than she can comprehend, his arms sweep her up bridal style and he abandons the bags and carries her towards the cabin. 

Rey laughs. “We aren’t married yet, you don’t have to carry me across the threshold.”

He reaches the door and struggles for a moment to keep her in his arms as he tries to fit the key in the lock. After a long moment of Rey clinging to his neck for dear life, he cries out in triumph and pushes the door open.

“I have to practice.”

 

***

 

“Wife,” he calls from the bed as Rey finishes getting ready in the bathroom of their suite. “Come here.”

Rey takes one final glance in the mirror, her  _ too _ expensive wedding night nightgown flowing over her skin, her hair taken out of its elaborate style and rolling over her shoulders. 

This isn’t their first night together by a long shot, but she still wants to make it special. 

She steps out of the bathroom to find him sprawled out on the king bed, his back propped against the headboard with an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne sitting next to him. He’s still in his tux, or most of it, and Rey can’t stop staring, still in disbelief that this man is her husband. 

His shirt is mostly unbuttoned and he’s watching her, a flute of champagne hovering near his lips. She says nothing as she moves towards him, slipping into his lap, knees planted on the bed on either side of his hips. His hand smooths over the satin fabric of her nightgown, biting his lip as his eyes follow the movement. He downs the rest of his glass and sets it on the bedside table. 

“I like hearing you call me ‘wife,’” she tells him softly, her hands slipping under the fabric of his open shirt to smooth along the bare skin of his chest. 

His hands move to the small of her back and draw her closer, his lips ghosting against her cheek. “I like saying it.”

Rey grins, tucking her chin to her chest as he starts to kiss over her ear and down her neck, tickling her with his stubble as he goes. She pulls away with a giggle and slides her hands higher to rest along his collarbones. 

“Did you ever think we would be here? All those years ago?”

His hands settle on her hips as he gazes up at her. 

“No. I was a dumb kid who thought the world revolved around you, and that I would never, ever have you. Sometimes in high school, I’d imagine what it would be like, to be Poe Dameron or any of the other guys who followed you around like a puppy. I never  _ thought  _ about you as more than my best friend, but at night I’d think about what it would be like to touch you and hold you.”

She reaches up to brush her fingers over his lips and he kisses them as they pass. 

“We were fools for a long time, Ben. I wish you knew what the girls in my grade said about you, how in love they all were. How jealous they were of me. You never gave any of them the time of day until college.”

He hums. “It was easier without you there. The moment you showed up, it all went to shit, if you remember.”

She nods and slides her arms around his neck. “Everyone else seemed to be waiting for us to realize, though.”

He’s pressing kisses along her neck and laughs. “My parents were waiting that Christmas. Just sitting and  _ waiting _ . I’m almost one hundred percent sure my mom saw us asleep, together in the family room.”

Rey feels a sudden embarrassment at the thought of Leia seeing them, asleep in front of the fire with wine bottles around, wound around each other. She wonders how she can ever look at her mother in law in the face again. “Oh my god.”

Ben laughs again, sliding his hands up her back as he nuzzles her neck. “It was six years ago.”

“Nope,” Rey protests. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Wife,” he says, his breath humid on her ear. “Let’s stop talking about my mother.”

“What should we talk about instead?” She asks, her voice suddenly breathy. 

“Mmm,” he hums, clenching the fabric of her nightgown in his fingers. “How about how sexy you look in this? Or how sexy you will look without it.”

The sun is breaking over the horizon when they are finally too exhausted to continue, their bodies sated and warm, snuggled under the covers together. 

“I love you,” he whispers sleepily to her, his arm around her middle drawing her flush against his chest. “Thank you for punching Hux in the face when we were kids.”

She laughs softly through her nose as her eyes drift shut. “Anytime.”

**Author's Note:**

> I would be willing to write their first time, if anyone is interested! I just didn't include it because I didn't feel like it went with the tone of the story. But, I do have a headcanon....


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